In 2021, a Harvard-led team surveyed hundreds of people about their most recent conversation, then had strangers chat in the lab. Only 2% of conversations ended when both people wanted them to, and only about 30% when at least one of them did. On average, the gap between desired and actual length was about half the conversation. And people were bad at guessing what their partner wanted.
Remembering is not replaying a recording — it is rebuilding. Each time you recall a memory, it becomes temporarily malleable and can be altered before being stored again. That is why two people can sincerely remember the same event… differently.
In 2003, Johnson and Goldstein compared European countries. Where you must tick a box to become a donor, consent rates ranged from 4% to 28%. Where you're a donor by default unless you opt out, they topped 85%. People aren't more generous on one side; most simply stick with whatever option was chosen for them.